Denial

“Every reality we ignore is preparing its revenge.”

I love this quote. I think it captures the force and destructive power of denial. We tend to see it as something minor, almost harmless: “I’m a little in denial, so what?” Yet what seems insignificant can turn into a tsunami if we fail to acknowledge it in time.

Every ignored reality prepares its revenge: excess weight that eventually affects heart health, a struggling teenager who develops an addiction, unnecessary spending that leads to bankruptcy… Reality can find so many ways to make itself heard!

What is harder is imagining what we are denying, because that is precisely what we do not want to see. I deny the pain of seeing my mother ill, the difficulty I have motivating a child with schoolwork, my fear of being evaluated… and so many other things.

When we deny reality, we repeat patterns without being aware of them. We lose our ability to respond and distort reality to make it more bearable. Yet what seems like a minor difficulty today can gradually turn into an emotional tsunami.

Don't sweep your suffering, difficulties, or fears under the rug. What we refuse to face today may eventually take up so much space in our lives that we no longer know how to deal with it. And yet, there may be much simpler, more practical, and safer ways forward available to us right now than we imagine.

Just as every ignored reality prepares its revenge, every reality we accept opens the way to transformation and healing.