People say that relationships begin to fall apart when one of the two people is working too hard. What does that mean? It means you're putting too much energy into the relationship. You stay quiet about what bothers you. You constantly adapt to the other person. You lower your expectations but never walk away. In short, you're making an effort that should be shared. When that happens, the relationship has already lost something essential: its balance. It may take years to end

Living in society means constantly creating agreements with others. You coordinate schedules, make commitments, organize projects, and often, you simply give your word. By doing so, you contribute to the invisible foundation that supports human relationships: trust. Because your word has value. Yet we often treat it as something flexible. We promise something and then change it when it becomes inconvenient, as if it were merely “a way of speaking.” But every time you fail to

In the 1960s, Paul Watzlawick introduced five fundamental axioms about human communication. Among them, three ideas, although they may seem obvious, have profound consequences in our everyday lives: It is impossible not to communicate. Every communication has a content level and a relationship level. The way we say something also communicates a message and often determines how it will be received. Communication has both a verbal and a non-verbal dimension. Our words convey so

If you are wondering how to tell whether someone who enters your life is a friend, a “messenger” that destiny has placed on your path, or rather an “emotional vampire,” I believe it is important to learn the difference between those who radiate and those who absorb. As the saying goes: there are a thousand ways to be unhappy, but only one way to be happy. A person who radiates is usually someone who is healthy, joyful, grateful, and at peace with themselves. This does not mea

Often, when we have a difficult relationship with a neighbor, an acquaintance, or someone whose behavior gets under our skin, the problem is not so much what that person does wrong, but rather what they fail to do right. As if, deep down, the sentence was: “If you don’t love me, I hate you.” And so we become angry with that person, collecting reasons and arguments to justify our rejection, when perhaps, deep down, we would simply melt if we could feel that we mattered to them

I believe that it is often difficult to know when it is helpful to make an observation to someone and when it is better not to. Because, even if what we say may be true, the other person is not always ready to hear it. On the other hand, it would be sad if, because of the way you react to feedback, others have learned that certain subjects cannot be discussed with you, that they cannot challenge you or tell you something that might make you uncomfortable. I am convinced that

Human beings are wired to trust. Our life in society is built on trust: trust in others, in institutions, and in the reality that surrounds us. After experiencing painful situations, some people come to believe that the world is not a safe place and adopt the principle of distrusting everyone and everything. They build a life that is more distant, more cautious, and, in a way, more protected. By not trusting, they are less likely to feel disappointed. They suffer less, that i

Relationships are like mirrors in which we learn to see ourselves. Through the way others treat us, we gradually build an image of who we are. If they make us feel fragile, we may begin to believe that we are. If they look at us as if we are “crazy” or wrong, we may start doubting our own perception. Unfortunately, the closest mirrors are often the ones that have become the most distorted. It is as if the people we love had poured oil over the surface of the mirror, leaving u

There are studies on the contagious effect that can occur when a famous person dies by suicide. When Kurt Cobain died by suicide and left behind a poetic letter that romantically explained the reasons for his decision, the suicide rate in the United States and Canada increased by 30% during the following six months. As a result of these phenomena, guidelines and regulations were later established in North America to avoid presenting suicide in the media in a way that could ma

There was a book that changed the way I looked at encounters between people. In The Celestine Prophecy, James Redfield explores the deeper meaning behind these encounters. The author suggests that every encounter happens for a reason. That when someone enters your life, they bring something with them: a message, a lesson, or an experience that can transform you. And that, at the same time, you may also have something to offer in that person’s life. This same idea inspired the

“Cupid’s demanding back his arrow…,” sings Keira Knightley in Begin Again. And I think that is how all relationships work. In the beginning, Cupid’s arrow makes us see almost exclusively the best in the other person. Everything seems special, precious, and wonderful. But one day Cupid asks for his arrow back. The idealization fades, and we begin to see the other person as they truly are: a human being with strengths and flaws, gifts and wounds. From that moment on, only what

Saying "forever" is possible. And how could it not be: one doesn't spend twenty, thirty, or forty years with the same person because one isn't even the same little person who got married years ago. With the passing of time and life experience, we modify infinite attitudes and ways of seeing the world. Time also teaches us to be more merciful toward others. So much so that I believe it wouldn't even be possible to put up with oneself for a whole lifetime without changing. Life

Sometimes we want something from another person, but instead of asking for it directly, we try to get a "yes" without giving them real freedom to choose. An honest request might sound like: "Would you like to come over?" "Do you want to go to the movies with me?" When we try to take away someone's yes, the request is often disguised as guilt or obligation: "I'm really struggling... you're not going to leave me alone, are you?" "I'm not feeling well... you're going to come see

A little girl had a doll she called Caroline, a doll she had cherished since she was very small. It was worn out, missing clumps of hair, and one eye no longer closed. Yet she continued to play with Caroline, scolding her incessantly and constantly demanding more and more from her. One day, her grandmother gave her a new, very beautiful doll. Her mother asked what she was going to call her. "I'm going to call her 'Poor Thing.' Because people always say: 'Poor thing, how divin

I believe that the majority of marriages that reach divorce are those that find it hard to share what is happening in the relationship with friends, family, or therapists. Once shared, the conflict decelerates. The fact that we, as a married couple, can go and ask for professional help carries two clear messages: we accept that we have a problem and we are willing to do something to overcome the situation. It is difficult, hard, and uncomfortable. But if you are in a difficul

Most marriages today are unable to withstand periods of crisis. As a result, crises often end in divorce. When we enter survival mode, a “every person for themselves” mentality takes over, and we begin to put ourselves first. What often fails to survive that dynamic is love itself. That is why crises are so difficult to navigate. Many times, even after the immediate crisis has passed, the relationship is unable to regain its balance. What remains are two people who are still

There are many sources of conflict in a marriage, but I believe there is one that truly puts it at risk: no longer making the other person's happiness a priority. The day you get married, you take on the responsibility of caring for your spouse’s growth, dignity, and development. But when children, work, personal wounds, or the pursuit of your own happiness take that place, the relationship begins to weaken. A vicious cycle then develops: each person focuses on protecting the

Romantic relationships often begin with admiration. We are drawn to people who possess qualities we feel we lack. If we are shy, we may be attracted to someone confident. If we are fearful, to someone courageous. If finances are a challenge for us, to someone organized and capable. If we are highly dependent on our family, to someone independent. And the reverse is also true. A confident person may admire the sensitivity of someone shy. A courageous person may appreciate the

For a long time, I've been observing a pattern in couples who have been together for more than fifteen years. And it appears again and again. The story often unfolds in a similar way: at the beginning, the relationship is fairly balanced. Both partners contribute and both receive. But over time, the scales begin to tip. One person may be hit harder by life's challenges, while the other moves through life with fewer obstacles. One may become ill while the other remains healthy

Being happy implies losing all the benefits of not being happy. Do you really want to be happy? If you are happy, others will lean on you as if you were an immovable pillar. The happy person has to support, sustain, love, propose. And who sustains the happy person? The happy person is sustained by happiness itself, because happiness is a force that brings you closer to the meaning of existence and makes it so that, by the very fact of being happy, you are capable of giving wi