“Every reality we ignore is preparing its revenge.” I love this quote. I think it captures the force and destructive power of denial. We tend to see it as something minor, almost harmless: “I’m a little in denial, so what?” Yet what seems insignificant can turn into a tsunami if we fail to acknowledge it in time. Every ignored reality prepares its revenge: excess weight that eventually affects heart health, a struggling teenager who develops an addiction, unnecessary spending

The tunnel is a metaphor for those periods when everything looks negative: the low points, the rough patches, the lean times. When we are in the tunnel, we talk more than we would like, eat more than we need, spend more than we can afford, and complain more than usual. Life feels heavy, everyday responsibilities seem unfair, and others become our tormentors. When we emerge, we reconnect with the best in ourselves: the joy of living, the pleasure of human connection, and the b

“Hatred appears as an irrational strategy for restoring self-esteem. ”— Lytta Basset, Forgiveness Whenever I feel ashamed, I seem to develop a need to restore my self-esteem. Whether I receive a poor grade at university, get valid feedback at work, or lose a game, I may feel insecure, exposed, and ashamed. Then, almost without realizing it, I begin looking for reasons to hate the person who triggered that discomfort in me. And, more often than not, I find them: the professor