Working Too Hard

People say that relationships begin to fall apart when one of the two people is working too hard.

What does that mean? It means you're putting too much energy into the relationship. You stay quiet about what bothers you. You constantly adapt to the other person. You lower your expectations but never walk away. In short, you're making an effort that should be shared.

When that happens, the relationship has already lost something essential: its balance. It may take years to end, but it's unlikely to thrive if one person keeps giving while the other mostly receives.

The same can happen with our children. If you feel their pain, understand their inner struggles, and want to solve them without being asked... you are working too hard. You cannot change someone who is not yet ready to change.

If you're always worried about other people, looking for solutions for them, and carrying problems that aren't yours... you are working too hard.

Very often, we do this because we want to feel loved, accepted, or needed. As if we believed that who we are isn't enough. As if we were a burnt brownie trying to hide the flaw under too much icing.

But maybe the brownie doesn't need so much icing. Maybe it simply needs to be accepted.

Life doesn't make mistakes. Everyone follows the path they need to follow, and everyone arrives when they're ready. Take it easy. You're okay just as you are.

Don't put on so much icing... you might end up ruining the dessert.